I am so easily amused....

From this article:

A Lakewood Republican stealing campaign signs late one night got nabbed when he ran across a low- hanging driveway chain, fell face first onto a pilfered sign and the concrete and knocked himself unconscious.

*ahem*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*deep breath*

*repeat*

Oh, please let this be true!

Rarely do I enjoy other people's misfortunes.

Unless, of course, it happens to someone who really deserves it.

And Bill O'Reilly deserves hot pokers up the ass.

However, I'll settle for this.

It was revealed, earlier today, that O'Reilly was filing a suit::

Claiming that he was the target of a $60 million shakedown bid, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly today filed a lawsuit against a female colleague who has been threatening to lodge a harassment complaint against the TV personality over offensive comments allegedly made to her by the "O'Reilly Factor" host. In an aggressive preemptive strike filed today in New York State Supreme Court, O'Reilly names Fox associate producer Andrea Mackris and her lawyers as defendants in the action, which charges them with extortion, infliction of emotional distress, and wrongful interference with contractual relations. O'Reilly claims that Mackris, 33, and her counsel tried to extort hush money from him by threatening to file a bombshell lawsuit, a copy of which you'll find below. While acknowledging that he shared "dinner and cocktails" with Mackris--and even watched a presidential press conference alone with her in his hotel room--he denied engaging in any physical or sexual assaults or "offensive touching."

The above was taken from The Smoking Gun.

Oh, yes, O'Reilly also claims that there is a political motivation behind the suit as well. From this article:

Besides the attempt for money, O'Reilly charged that his accuser and her lawyer were trying to embarrass him and Fox News Channel three weeks before the election. Morelli, he said, is a contributor to the Democratic Party; "The O'Reilly Factor" is a particular favorite among Republican viewers.

I just love how O'Reilly is trying to smear this woman by calling her a Democrat. *Rolls eyes.* Fair and Balanced my right ass cheek.

Anyway, it appears that this woman will not be bullied by the giant ass. Just hours after O'Reilly tried the "I declare war on you before you can on me" move (and we all know how well that works out), she filed suit:

Hours after Bill O'Reilly accused her of a multimillion dollar shakedown attempt, a female Fox News producer fired back at the TV star today, filing a lawsuit claiming that he subjected her to repeated instances of sexual harassment and spoke often, and explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity, and sexual fantasies.

Let me just say: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(Real mature, but sex and O'Reilly written in the same sentence makes me ill.)

Again, courtesy of the Smoking Gun. You can also click on the link and read the whole thing---just don't eat before you read. The Smoking Gun also speculates, based on the extensive use of quotations, that these conversations may have been taped. Oh, yeah, one thing that is really should be freaking Al Franklin out is the fact that O'Reilly, seems to be obsessed with the guy.

This article quotes Ms. Mackris on the "it's a political thing" accusation:

Morelli said his political contributions had nothing to do with the case.

“When he sued me today, I understood what kind of bully he is,” the lawyer said.

Not that it matters, but it appears that Ms. Mackris was a former intern for the first Bush administration.

Now, I do feel bad, if this turns out to be true, for what this woman had to go through. The other part of me hopes to hell that she really did tape those conversations and nails O'Reilly. Bring that fucker down!

Caption Time

Who in the fuck elected this guy?

I'm going to have to pay how much in taxes when I grow up?

Jesus, this guy's hands are cold!

My parents actually let this guy hold me! Save me now!

Don't drop me!

I'm giving this guy some tips on how to behave at the next debate. If you are going to act like a baby, then goddamnit...do it well!

Have fun thinking of your own.....

I *heart* Alaska

People in three states are voting to reform pot laws, mostly having to do with medical usage.

However, Alaska is truly opening a can of whoop-ass on those who demand that people who smoke pot in their homes be labeled as a "criminal," regardless if they are smoking it for medical purposes or watching the Daily Show. From the article:

If all three measures are approved, Montana would become the 10th state to legalize pot for medical purposes, Oregon would dramatically expand its existing medical-marijuana program, and Alaska would become the first state to decriminalize marijuana altogether.

....

Alaskans will vote on a measure even more far-reaching than Oregon's — to prohibit prosecution of anyone 21 or older who consumes, grows or distributes pot for private personal use. It would allow authorities to regulate marijuana along the lines of alcohol and tobacco — for example, taxing it and barring its use in public.

Even a leading foe of the measure, former U.S. Attorney Wev Shea, believes it might pass, thanks partly to sophisticated advertising backed by national marijuana-reform organizations.

"They've got a lot of money behind them and they're running a very professional campaign," Shea said in a telephone interview. "It's difficult for us on the other side — we don't get paid a penny."

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. You don't get paid a penny to tell people what they can or can not consume and do with their own bodies? You don't get paid a penny to have people in constant pain thrown in jail for trying to relieve that and lead a semi-normal life? You don't get paid a penny for demanding that the government violate the Constiution in an arrogant attempt to enforce your values and beliefs on the American people? Watch me weep a fucking river for you, you fascist asshole.

Under a 1975 state court ruling, Alaskans already have the tacit right to possess up to four ounces of pot in their homes for personal use. Shea said decriminalization supporters suggest in ads that any crackdown on at-home pot use might be followed by a crackdown on gun ownership.

GO ALASKA! GO ALASKA! GO ALASKA!

This government is our ally.

Saudi Arabia, in an effort to ease the calls for social and political change in the kingdom, will be holding municipal elections across the country. However, half the kingdom will not be allowed to vote. From the article linked above:

Women will not vote in Saudi Arabia's municipal elections, the first nationwide polls to be held in the autocratic kingdom, the interior minister said in remarks published Monday, dashing the hopes of progressives who see such participation as vital to reform.

....

Saudi women have limited freedoms. They cannot travel, get an education or a job, or check into a hotel alone without written approval of a male guardian. They cannot drive, mix with men in public or leave home without covering themselves with black cloaks, called abayas.

Isn't it scary, that in the 21st century, women are still prohibited from participating in their own government? Isn't it scary that our country's leaders actually call this government our allies and good friends?

IF Lazuris Long* was not a fictional character, he would be rioting in the streets.

*Geek reference. See Time Enough for Love.

When the Senate is in session....

....the people get screwed.

But you knew that all ready.

The bill became the vehicle for the most significant overhaul of corporate tax law in nearly two decades. It includes $76.5 billion in new tax relief for the manufacturing sector, which was broadly defined to include oil and gas producers, architectural and engineering firms and film and music companies.

The package also provides benefits for a wide range of groups, from native Alaskan whalers, importers of Chinese ceiling fans, NASCAR race track owners and residents of states without state income taxes, who would be able to deduct state and local sales taxes from their federal tax returns.

Of course, Republicans are saying that this bill will create more jobs. Because corporations are just nice like that. They would never out-source jobs to foreign countries while getting tax relief from our country (after all, the workers who pay the taxes can pay for the infrastructure, for education, and for wars and in the mean time they have to find someway to pay for the neccessities to survive--you know, food, clothing, housing, healthcare....). They would never lobby our Congress critters to eliminate overtime pay or any other labor law that would benefit the workers. The Labor Department really does have the workers best interests at heart, them telling corporations how to get around paying for overtime was actually a good thing!

Recently, I've been reading up on fascism. IT scares me that my country is happily marching down that road. Hell, we already have a government controlled by corporate interests (and that goes for both parties), why not just call off the elections and face that fact?

Where is the outrage?

It looks like the RNC in Florida are now tampering with voter registration cards. From this article:

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement is investigating 1,500 voter registration forms received by the Leon County elections office that apparently were altered to register local students as Republicans.

County elections supervisor Ion Sancho said it was suspicious enough that the registration forms were all photocopies, but the new voters were also between the ages of 18-24, a group that often registers with no party affiliation.

"When we saw that all of these individuals were registered as Republicans, a buzzer went off," Sancho said.

Most were students at Florida A&M University, Florida State University or Tallahassee Community College. The office began calling the applicants, contacting a couple of dozen before deciding to turn the voter forms over to the FDLE.

"Once it became clear that their information did not jibe with the information on the application forms, that's when we decided to act," Sancho said. "The overwhelming majority of them had not selected the Republican Party as the party they wanted to be registered in."

The Leon County case is one of several being looked at around the state. In some cases, there are reports of bogus addresses, forms coming in with false information and registered voters who are being reregistered without their knowledge.

In St. Petersburg, former Mayor Charles Schuh received a letter saying he was ineligible to vote in the Aug. 31 primary because his registration application wasn't received on time. He later learned that the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now had turned in a registration form with his correct name, address and phone number, but the wrong date of birth, final four digests of his Social Security number and gender.

"If I could find the guy I would make sure he was prosecuted for fraud and forgery. They could have stopped me from voting in the primary," Schuh, an attorney, said Tuesday. "That's wrong, dead wrong."

He was allowed to vote after showing elections officials his voter registration card and telling them the incorrect registration application wasn't submitted by him. Schuh said the registration form with his name was turned over to the state attorney's office along with 14 others that appear fraudulent.

Of course, the head of the RNC of Florida is blaming it on someone else:

Republican Party spokeswoman Mindy Tucker Fletcher placed the blame for some of this year's registration problems on the many independent groups signing up new voters.

"It's unfortunate when you have all these groups from outside the state coming in here and trying to take over the elections process and they are motivated not by what's best for Florida, but by making money for themselves," she said.

Yeah, I believe that.

What Kerry Should Say

The Rude Pundit has it right.

Well, DUH!

Dumb-ass in chief and his cohort, the DICK have finally admitted that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. However, they are still justifiying their decision to declare war on a country that had nothing to do with the attacks on our country:

"The Duelfer report showed that Saddam was systematically gaming the system, using the U.N. oil-for-food program to try to influence countries and companies in an effort to undermine sanctions," Bush said as he prepared to fly to campaign events in Wisconsin. "He was doing so with the intent of restarting his weapons program once the world looked away."

Duelfer found no formal plan by Saddam to resume WMD production, but the inspector surmised that Saddam intended to do so if U.N. sanctions were lifted. Bush seized upon that inference, using the word "intent" three times in reference to Saddam's plans to resume making weapons.

This week marks the first time that the Bush administration has listed abuses in the oil-for-fuel program as an Iraq war rationale. But the strategy holds risks because some of the countries that could be implicated include U.S. allies, such as Poland, Jordan and Egypt. In addition, the United States itself played a significant role in both the creation of the program and how it was operated and overseen.

For his part, Cheney dismissed the significance of Duelfer's central findings, telling supporters in Miami, "The headlines all say `no weapons of mass destruction stockpiled in Baghdad.' We already knew that."

The vice president said he found other parts of the report "more intriguing," including the finding that Saddam's main goal was the removal of international sanctions.

"As soon as the sanctions were lifted, he had every intention of going back" to his weapons program, Cheney said.

The report underscored that "delay, defer, wait, wasn't an option," Cheney said. And he told a later forum in Fort Myers, Fla., speaking of the oil-for-food program: "The sanctions regime was coming apart at the seams. Saddam perverted that whole thing and generated billions of dollars."

Yet Bush and Cheney acknowledged more definitively than before that Saddam did not have the banned weapons that both men had asserted he did — and had cited as the major justification before attacking Iraq in March 2003.

Talk about "flip-flop." First, Iraq was an immediate threat to the United States because of their vast collection of WMDs. So immediate, that the Chimp and company decide to divert resources from apprehending the criminals who master-minded the awful attacks of 9-11 into Iraq. We invade Iraq, only to discover that there are no WMDs. Don't worry, we are told, they will be found. Oh, yeah, the French are evil now shut-up and eat your Freedom Fries.

As the body-count rose higher in Iraq, the reason shifted to "Saddam was evil, he needed to be removed." Okay, yes, he was evil. However, why not invade just-as-evil-if-not-more-evil countries that are led by these mad-men (China? North Korea? Cuba? Most of the countries in Africa?). And I thought we were invading a country that posed an immediate threat to us? Hey, what about those ass-hats who attacked us? "Look!" (We were told) "Kerry uses Botox!"

Months later, as the American people were realizing that our brothers and sisters in the armed forces were not being welcomed with flowers being thrown at their feet, the administration held their convention---with many members wearing "purple-heart band-aids" (way to support our Armed Forces, guys!) and we are told that Kerry, in essence is a coward who got a scrape and got out of Nam.

Now that it is very clear (to the point that main-stream media are finally reporting it here in the States on a regular basis) that no WMDs existed, and that Iraq did not even have the capability of producing those weapons, we are told that the "oil for food" program was corrupt.

Well, no shit.

The fact that those responsible for the planning of the attacks of 9-11 are still, for the most part, at large and pretty much running wild in Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia (our "ally" that just happened to produce most of the attackers not to mention where most of the money to fund these ass-clowns comes from), and now, thanks to the folly of Bush, in Iraq just makes me feel sooooo much safer.

Oh, yeah, don't forget, don't eat Heinz catsup, buy the "W" one!

Pick Nose! Pick Butt! Pick Kerry!

Michael Moor's "Slacker Tour" seems to be having an effect.

In fact, in Michigan alone, over 10,000 young people have registered to vote. Moore has promised all these slackers new underware and noodles if we (and yes, folks, I am a dedicated slacker) get out and vote. The Republicans don't like this, and want Moore arrested. Here is Moore's letter.

Now, this is one campaign I can get behind. Yeah, Kerry sucks. Here is a campaign strategy that admits this overwhelming fact and uses it as a slogan. So, remember on November 2nd: PICK NOSE! PICK BUTT! PICK KERRY!

Now THAT'S diplomacy!

If you are the leader of one of the most powerful nations of the world, and if you are trying to create a global coalition, and if a particular leader is not to favorable idea, what would you do? Try to convince them that it is the right thing to do? Sit down and listen to their concerns? Engage in an intelligent debate?

If you are Dubya, you call them a jackass.

VP Debate

Meh. I do not like DICK worth a damn. Instead of writing an intelligent, thoughtful post as to why I do not like him, I'll just make fun of him starting with this picture:



I also like pointing at someone and jumping up and down while shouting "Liar, liar pants on fire!" (I'm childish like that.) Dick actually did meet Wonder Boy on several occasions:


Swearing in Elizabeth Dole.


Meeting at the Naitonal Prayer Breakfast.

And finally, to finish making fun of our national leaders, here is another picture: